Understanding the Deal

Randugati - There is togetherness as well as solitude, there is union as well as divorce, there is encounter as well as separation. This is very natural in life. However, it will become very unnatural when the problem of the opposite word is not addressed or even born because of a decision that lacks long consideration.

Divorce cases, for example, the impact of divorce is certainly enormous. Not only for both spouses. But also the family, especially children. The decision to divorce will bring trauma and psychological conditions that lead to short-term thinking, uncontrolled mentality and so on.

It is explained in a study that the impact of a divorce results in a child getting poor guidance in life, giving rise to several dehumanizing attitudes. As well as being easily alone, not confident, irritable, uncontrolled emotions and so on.  This means that the impact of divorce really breaks the pattern of child development.

The problem of divorce is usually triggered by immature readiness in marriage. So that when meeting conditions that bang mentally the couple will be easily indecisive and short in thinking. Marriage is not merely uniting two people or two families. Mentally it must also be put together to complement each other's shortcomings.

The increase in the number of divorces in Indonesia from 2021 to 2022 was 15.46% from 447,743 cases to 516,334. Where 75% of the divorce cases that occurred were divorce suits filed by the wife. Meanwhile, 25% are lawsuits from husbands.

Referring to the case above, we can feel the problem solving that occurs in a family. One of them is economic problems. Although there are also those who are less consistent in maintaining harmonious relationships within the family. Why the economy? Because the pillar of life in the family is the economic aspect. Then supported by an understanding to strengthen each other, realizing joint responsibility in fostering the family.

The Office of Religious Affairs (Kantor Urusan Agama) with premarital education for prospective husband and wife is a program that can be a solution to minimize the potential for divorce. But there needs to be affirmation and in-depth understanding as well. Because not a few couples who have attended premarital education in the end divorce too.

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Premarital education must also involve other parties such as family psychology experts. This is useful to emphasize that when married there will be two individuals who are united to complement each other (read: garwa or sigarane nyawa). We are certainly familiar with the term soul mate, this must be thoroughly emphasized in premarital education. It is even broader when the understanding is the union of two families, none of which dominate or weaken one another.

The roots of divorce according to Kurdeck and Amato (1994) are triggered by economic, mental, emotional, psychological problems, even past trauma that causes depression and disrupts family harmony. This is in line with what was said by Mayowa (2021) a sociologist from Ekiti State University who examined how divorce occurs in Nigeria. From the results of his research, there are several things that make the couple divorce, besides death, first is loyalty, where this issue is the main problem. This means that not a few of the couples who commit infidelity, resulting in divorce.

Among others are financial issues, offenses, and health challenges. This means that when the problem of family harmony is measured by sexual relations, it seems paradoxical. It is not just sexuality, but also financial motivation. Beyond that, the basis is faith and depth of thinking. This means that mental and spiritual maturity also determines the sustainability of a family.

This case of inner dryness is a social dilemma that must be found the best solution. The role of religion through policy makers must also be present. Not only as a religious actor but also a space that provides solutions to existing social problems.

Not to mention when talking about the impact, children especially. Divorce cases have a huge impact on a child, especially their mental development. Especially in terms of education, according to Mayowa "The increase in broken marriage will have a consequential effect on the educational well being of the children in such a home." That the impact of divorce has consequences on the educational well-being of children in the home. When they are retarded in school, it is the family background that is seen.

Therefore, any reason that makes a family couple divorce will have a tremendous impact, especially on a child. This is what must be prepared, analyzed and found the best solution to overcome the problem of most children are backward. Both from the family itself, religious affairs policy makers and related parties such as educational institutions, psychologists, sociologists and the government.

Even if the concept of "tata tentrem karta raharja" is a broad concept, it would be nice if it is reduced to a small portion, namely the family. The pattern that is formed is to build family welfare. Build communication patterns that build each other up without weakening. Growing awareness of the importance of an agreement, marriage is an agreement that is not only for two couples, but other families, especially children born from the fruit of marriage.